Friday, April 16, 2010

Antagonism

Infuriate, indignation, interjection, anger, disharmony, soreness, animosity, exasperation, rage, wrath, fury, ire, embitterment - all these are siblings of my subject today. I am trying to study this emotion and what harm it can do to me Or do I really apprehend what harm can it do to me when I am already in this state? May be, "No" atleast not at the moment. So I chose to write this when I am in one of these states.

To begin with, I will describe my characterstics when I am infuriated with someone. I feel irritated of the situation, uneasy at heart, negative about that person's perspectives, a single more mistake of that person can make a huge growl in my heart, discontented with his/her actions, may be soon I might just conclude an impression of his/her like an imprint forever. So I might end up inseminating my mind with negativity about that person and might carry that thought for longer than that moment.

Now lets see after seeing my characterstics, how do I tend to react at the situation. Either I will be in commonly known - "Angry in" state or "Angry out" state. Just to elaborate, "Angry in" is a state when one tends to keep the anger to oneself and "angry out" is the exasperation on others. Both the states when exceeding some limit has adverse effects on relationships. But at this moment, I would not realise the adverse effects it might lead to because in this state my acceptance to the fact - "I could be possibly wrong and the other peron could be right" is gone. And the problem is that anger is not preceded by a window of some seconds to just think once more before you are drifted in the twister cyclone of anger after which it becomes difficult to come out unless the destruction has already taken place. However you would never tend to think that way naturally unless you put an effort explicitly.

It certainly becomes more difficult if the person upfront whose action or mistake made you infuriated, keep spewing fire which adds to your anger. And specially some people become cannibals in this state if there is some big reason for them to be angry leading to violence and rage.

Now studying the characterstics of an angry person, and the extremes of what this expression can lead to, I feel that one has to really work on it to get away from it. One has to develop habit of giving a window before getting into an argument. Even if you are already into it unknowingly, as it just takes a spur, try to develop a window of 10 seconds before you make any answer during the argument. This window allows you to give a second thoughts to realise the consequences and have a little much of acceptance level. In some situation, you can backcount from 20 to 1 in your heart which will eventually calm you for sometime and then you can think and respond intelligently. Your back countdown may vary according to the person you are holding your opposition against. If the other person has less patience level and high ego, you might need to backcount from 50 to 1. So this formula makes your patience level proptional to the other person's anger. This is generally because it gets difficult for you to hold on your anger if the other antagonist has high ego, low patience and short temper. But this formula surely works in most of the cases!

Remember - an argument can always end if one of the two people involved learns to work on the anger and try to hold the patience level. And as I always think - "Well timed silence has more eloquence than words". So you may always win in your arguments during the exasperation if you try holding your patience(instead of anger I would say)!

The white pearl in my finger

Though I have neither totally denied nor followed the rituals of astrological gemstones, but the gemstones had always been an object of my curosity. This is what I used to hear about them before I actually got one for myself -

"Wearing appropriate gemstones matching your vedic horoscopes may eventually result in bringing peace to your mind, financial success, happy marriage, love, success in education, career, and general well being. Also it is very useful in improving health problems such as diabetes, asthma, arthritis, hypertension, liver problem, neurological disorder, infertility, and paralysis. As per the vedic science, wearing an appropriate gemstone culture a cosmic energy around and within you. Different gemstones affect you in a different way and are thus, should be worn after consultation from an expert only, because wearing a wrong gemstone which is not 'lucky' per your horoscope might bring disaster to your life."

I always had a wish of wearing a white pearl as it had always captivated me with its simplicity and beauty. By this, I mean I wanted to wear it as a beauty object.

"Pearls are stones of moon, known to strengthen the mind, help control anger and increase memory. They have a calming effect on a person's mind, and cultivate the feelings of compassion. They also help with spiritual meditation." - This what I had known earlier about my favorite gemstone. I would not simply deny if it does or does not do any of these but some of my aquaintances have told me that this had been true for them. And a pearl can be worn by anyone, this fact made me "un-relentlessly" decide to wear one.

I went to a jeweller shop and ordered one. He instructed me that Pearls are worn to mitigate the negative impacts of weak moon, so they must be worn on a Monday(Lunar day of the week) in a silver ring(as silver is considered as a cool metal). He also told that I should get the Pearl "Shudhikaran" or purification done before I wear it. He told me that I should go to a priest in a temple who would purify it by cleaning it in unboiled milk and by enchanting some "mantras". As a believer of sprituality not in manmade temples, I decided the shorter way to do it myself by cleaning it in the milk and remembering my "One" God. I did it on Monday too. So I would never truly say that I do not believe in all these. Infact I think I believe in it in some way. Since I have heard about so many experiences, so I went reading about the science of pearls and discovered few facts like -
- A pearl is made up of calcium carbonate in minute crystalline form, which has been deposited in concentric layers
- It is made by the rain drops, falling into the mouth of pearl oysters,
solidifies them into pearls.
- Cultured pearls are also made these days by creating artificial rain drops which are made to infuse in the sea shells which results in cultured pearls.
- The wearing off of the top layer of an original pearl brings a new layer which is as good as the last top layer. So the decoloring only happens only with artificial pearls.

Having this much knowledge, I had it worn on my smallest finger of my left hand, "on a monday", after "purifying" it. After wearing it, I was more curious whether it has some influence on my mind. So I was constantly observing my anger and its intensity to see if wearing a pearl is helping me or not.

One subsequent day, I was sitting doing my work when my brother called me for taking my opinion on something which would help him in taking some decision. So I got up, gave him my blah-blah two cents' which was just the opposite of what he preferred. So he overuled my opinion by calling it useless and started giving arguments to it. I could not bear and yelled back at him and just told him not to ask for my opinions in future if he could not just take them. He was cool after that but I could restore myself instinctly so I came back to my room in the same cold blooded mood and started my work. Just in a minute, my eyes went to 'the pearl in silver' in my finger. To my secret, I knew I was working on my anger from quite sometime, so the ring reminded me that it is worn by people for controlling anger. Just remembering this, my anger vanished in seconds because I had worn it following "almost" all rituals, So I thought to revert my anger. The next moment I called my brother and asked him calmly to follow his opinion as his opinion was also good. I was totally calm after that moment and some kind of warmth fled in my blood.

This was just one of such few incidents that happened to me when I tried to control or revert my anger just looking at the white pearl. May be because it actually gave me a "calming" effect with its peaceful look or it just reminded me of the purpose why it is worn by the people.

For any of the reasons, I deduced that it is helping me in some way. Atleast I am trying now :)

Friday, April 2, 2010

Anger

Anger is like water in hydrological cycle. It changes its form from liquid to gas on heating and rises up fast. When it is high, it becomes cold and hence condenses to liquid again. A stage comes when the clouds can not hold more condensed water and it precipitates on others.

This cycle should go on as the balance of life is stimulated by the cycle. If one tries to hold on anger for long, it gets converted to depression or suppression. However if it is precipitated heavily, it becomes resentment or remorse for others.